What is Most Important?

I am so ready for some real spring weather. This week, in Kentucky, the weather forecast is for highs in the 80's and for me that is simply perfect!! This has been one wet, cold spring. And when it is warm and sunny, I cannot stay inside, I make it my goal for the day to sit in every chair I have in my yard at least once!!

On Memorial Day weekend, my family, brothers, sisters and their families meet at our home place for a family reunion. With 10 children, (one is deceased) many grandchildren, great grandchildren, great-great grandchildren, (I think that is as far as it goes), needless to say we have a crowd. My brothers and sisters and I were fortunate to have parents who valued family above all else and they wanted us to keep the home-place and we did. We gather in at Thanksgiving, Christmas, breakfast on Saturday mornings occasionally, (I make the biscuits, almost as well as Mama did) home-comings and when the weather is nice, to just sit on the porch in the swings and talk. Funny, but when I was a kid, I didn't think the home-place was all that impressive, but now, it is where I want to be, it is where I go when I need to truly be alone with God. In those woods I feel His presence like I can no where else, and for me it is my "Bethel". (Genesis 35:1) It is there that my "history" began and it is there that holds my identity.

The older I get, the more I feel drawn to what is most important, and like my parents, family is most important to me. David and I will be married 45 years this week. Where has time gone? On paper, we should not have made it; 17 yr old girl, 19 yr old boy, 2 years later a baby, height of the Viet Nam war, very different backgrounds, job struggles, but by God's grace and His grace alone, we are here today, and at this stage in life I know it is our faith in God, strong family values, and love and commitment to each other that has seen us through tough times and life struggles.

The thing I hear most from my readers is, "I want to hear more about marriage and making it work." So today, let me encourage you to make your marriage the most important thing in your life, after your relationship with the Lord. I tell my Sunday School class on a regular basis that the most important decision anyone can make is to accept Christ as Savior and the 2nd most important decision is who we marry. Those 2 decisions have more impact on our lives than any other decisions we will make in life. The first one has eternal consequences, and the 2nd determines our happiness, joy, fulfillment, and success.

Here are 3 things you can do everyday to make your marriage a priority; there are of course many others, but for me, these are the most important.

1. Pray for your marriage everyday. And get specific!! If you're mad at him, tell God. If you want him to be more demonstrative in showing his feelings for you, tell God. If you're worried about his health, tell God. If you want him to be a better,Dad, tell God. But.......be sure to sit quietly before the Lord and allow Him to speak to you about areas in your marriage that you can do better. Pray everyday about specific things in your marriage and ask God to help you and your husband to have a marriage that honors Him and sets a good example for your kids and others.

2. Protect your marriage.
Our #1 enemy, Satan, wants nothing more than to destroy your marriage and he will stop at nothing. He has waged an all out attack and war on the family and as our son Kyle so aptly put it, "We have a generation of victims, casualties of the war on the family. Children are the casualties of that demonic war." Protect your marriage by praying for it, but then don't stop there. We protect our marriage by keeping our heart soft toward our husband. If I allow myself to bring up past hurts, if I "build a case against him in my mind", if I dwell on his faults, Satan will plant seeds of discontent and those little, tiny seeds will eventually take root and grow into a monster that will destroy the very fabric of your marriage. Protect it by how you think about your husband, how you speak to him and about him, how you care for him and your home. As women, our instinct is to protect who and what we love. Love your marriage and protect it. Marriage is more than loving your husband; it's loving your marriage as well. And when we love and protect our marriage, our children will not be casualties of divorce.

3. Spend some quiet time together everyday.
When our boys were small, we put them to bed by 8:30-9:00 so we could watch a tv show together, sit and talk, and just have a little quiet time at the end of the day. Now, our kids didn't like it, they often reminded us that their friends stayed up till 10, but I personally believe children still need a bedtime, (amazing how that improves their school work, their personalities, etc) and we needed some quiet time. There are days it will be hard to do, especially as the kids get older, but as often as you can, have some quiet time together, focus on each other, talk things out, show love and respect, in other words communicate every single day...amazing what genuine communication will do for your marriage.

There are so many other things that we can do to keep the important......important, but maybe these 3 things can be a starting place for you and your marriage. God loves your marriage and He wants you to love it, too. Could it be that more marriages would last a lifetime if we loved our marriage as much as we love each other?

So thankful for spring and all things new; no place like Kentucky in May!!

Love to hear from you!

Penny